The walls haunt you, mock you,

Poke fun at your mere existence;

The dull beige color used to hold hope for you,

It used to hold comfort.

No matters what horrors were faced on the street,

The beige would be there to welcome you home.

You knew that, and you could rest easy

With that thought firm in your mind.

Then the walls began to remind you

That there was more to life than the comfort

Of what had already been discovered;

They were reminders of your hopes, 

And your dreams to escape the boundaries

That you had been forced into.

There would be a time where you could

Free the shackles that restrict you to

The beige with white trim,

A time that you desperately hoped for.

But now the walls,

Still beige with white trim,

Enrage you.

Your time to get away is running out

And you know that you’re never going to make it.

You remember the days when the walls

Were kind to you, or held hopes for you;

But now you’re sitting in the center of the room

And the beige is closing in.

I wouldn’t mind packing up

All of my belongings

And leaving this place,

Without a trace.

I could just step on the train

And let my worries melt away

As I travel to a place

Where no one knows my name.

I wouldn’t leave a number

And most won’t remember my name;

I’ll be gone before you know it

And you’ll be happy when I’ve left.

I just want someone

Who will tell me

That they love me,

That they need me;

Not in a romantic way,

Just as a friend.

I just wish that someone

Would tell me that

I’m necessary,

That I’m wanted;

Because maybe then,

I’ll stick around to hear it.

We were all sitting on your roof, the air feeling more like it was April than January. We were just talking, laughing, and reminiscing; I miss you all more than you’ll ever know. I see a few of you in school, and the rest of you on the occasional weekend, and it isn’t like we don’t speak every day of the week, but there’s just nothing like seeing every one of you every single school day. 

We were all leaning against the side of the house, with his arm resting on my shoulder; I miss this more than he’ll ever know. I see him here and there in school, but I never get so much as a hello; what happened to us? We were never a “couple,” as they say, but we’re slipping through the cracks. 

We’re falling apart at the seams, but we’re sticking around it watch it.

.”I’m not a liar,”
I tell you confidently.
.”I’m telling you the truth.”
It might not sound good,
But it isn’t actually lying.

I don’t care about you
The way I cared about you before;
No, I care for you more.
Maybe I didn’t tell you that,
But it’s not like I told you
That I cared less
Or didn’t care at all.

Maybe I left out a few words,
But what’s the harm in that?
Clean breaks are what
I tell myself I strive for,
But I like knowing that
You know I’m here.

Just a few years ago,

I would be afraid of

My current self

If I was to see me 

Walking down the street.

Unnatural hair and studded jewelry, 

Safety pins and patches marking my clothing.

I would have seen myself as 

A menace, a trouble maker,

A freak.

I’ve grown to be

More tolerant and try

Not to judge based on looks.

But the thing that scares me most

Is the knowledge that I wouldn’t have been far off.

I shut people out

And then I complain about

Having no one to talk to.

I complain about how

No one seems to push for causes,

But I just sit in front of my computer.

I say that I don’t understand

Why people try to fit society’s molds,

And then start wearing make up.

I tell myself that I’ll be

A different person tomorrow,

But will write this every day

One minute, you’re sitting at the

End of the table

And you’re all alone.

The next minute we’re there,

Sitting with you

And we’re all laughing.

Then we’re getting to know

Each other and we’re friendly,

And then you want us to be a little friendlier.

I decline and we’re fine for now,

But not after the second time.

No, now we’re falling out.

You’re writing things to me

That you would never dare say,

And I’m hating you as much

As it is possible for me to hate a friend.

But now I find out

That you’re leaving in months,

And I feel something.

Regret?

Remorse?

I’m not sure what,

But maybe it’ll be you.

After you’re gone,

Of course.

There are certain things
That are difficult to relay.
Like deep emotions
Or lack thereof.

There are certain things
That I need to say,
But don’t know how.

I can’t tell you
That nothing feels right,
That everyone is abandoning me,
And that I’m considering
Giving up for good.

How do I tell you
What you really need to hear?
Maybe you can save me,
But I’m afraid that you won’t care.

She goes unnoticed
Because she’s simply average.

They call her names
Because they think she’s happy.

Maybe they would be more careful
If they knew she was ready to explode.